Sunday, February 08, 2015

i stand before the mighty sea

i stand before the mighty sea
seeing it’s power rolling towards me
no barrier, no break it’s might to impede
as it rolls unimpeded towards me

the waves, the rage, the torrent the swell
others, lithe and nimble slither to sell
servitude for another days freedom from jail
suppressing the power in a careless quell

the sea is conscience free, willing to consume
and consuming at will.  Each morning you find
a clean and groomed beach and no sorrow no mourn
it’s power has done it’s job with no remorse

nothing survived except for the deepened prints
of two feet that weathered the storm, sunken a little
deeper through the shifting sand that draws and
sucks down the one who wants to just stand still

the happy place, the beach, comes alive each day
it brings the birds, the gulls, the cool fresh water
to cleanse your throat, the voices of lovers and children
to lift the mind and bring a smile… to make you feel better

but everyday I stand before the mighty sea
watching it’s power roll over me
no barrier, no break that can impede its might
as it rolls unencumbered over me

the joy of those around me place a millstone
around my neck, and laughter adds a chain and lock
i sink deeper into the joy filled sand and feel the
cold sea of death engulf me more and more

people don’t notice much anymore, nor do I
buried to my waste in hopelessness and remorse
i have begun digging the hole myself
i won’t be long now until the mighty sea… feeds

Friday, February 06, 2015

this my friend is depression

what it is
or what it’s not
either way
the communication
rots… on the vine

everyone knows
it’s a universal
experience
we all share
neatly… bound in twine

i had a bad day
oh, i just need some wine
this damned depression
i’ll be fine
come… morning time

the morning dawns
wine’s memory lingers
a cup of joe
gets me on my way
a new day… depression free

there is a side
the mold is cracked
psychosis
the unexplainable
pain… takes up residence

no wine, nor beer
nor bleeding, pleading spouse
can fill the mold with
normalcy… only more
self loathing… and grief

this my friend is depression
sinking into your own
consciousness
lost in sorrow
about… what you don’t know

eternal unrelenting despair
sadness beyond repair
pain and suffering
you cannot explain
death… the only resolve

overwhelmed by
sorrow and remorse
you seek the loved one’s help
the doctors soothing tones
leaving you with loneliness

you look at those
around your day
you hear their complaints
and difficulties
and long… for their lives

you sleep that sweet
drug induced slumber
hoping
for the morning’s reprieve
only to be greeted with torment

yes, some of us get sad
and frustrated
some of us… depressed
and long for an end
to it all

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

only one wins

Celebrate life
Eschew death
Embrace strife
Conflate wrath
Balance sought
Only one wins
Terror fraught
Punish for sins
Darkness engulfs
Hope is betrayed
Darkness covers
Hope to rest is laid

no preperation

From blinded eyes
The beast is sensed
Lurking, waiting for
The unprovoked attack
Their is no preparation
Only the parlance
And the cover from
The unknown blow
Fear and terror
That cannot be
Explained

how long

Closing in from many sides. It's always darkest before the dawn, but how long is the darkness? Closing in from many sides. It's always darkest before the dawn but how long is the darkness

volley of war

lessons come fast,
hardcore and forcefully.

Hopefully just a show of resolve
and not a volley of war

Saturday, December 20, 2014

not

who am i, really? 

not who was i?
or who have i become?

but who am i, really?

is there an i?

and what does “am”
even mean?

who has the right
to define being?

i am………..       what?
you are…….       what?

tell me what you are
and i will tell you

what you are not

but i cannot confirm
or deny
what you
are

you cannot confirm
or deny
what you
are

you and i         together
can confirm
what we are
not

Friday, December 19, 2014

freeform (for Kerry)

freeform

freeform

just let it all go
what is this freeform thang

who knows?

there is no reason to speak in rhythm or rhyme
this is fucking ridiculous to even try

poetry, what?

ain’t nobody got time to work through this shit
just say what you need to say and go on
but no structure means no structure
no structure means no meaning
what is this that i am even writing?

i paint with words the pictures of my twisted mind
i sing the songs of my soul with musical notes of pain
if you take away my structural sacristy
how can you take me seriously?
i will die a slow and miserable death alone

aint got no form
no meaning

just
shittin and jivin

say what?

aint no thang

alone

tonight my mind screams
that is my curse

what do you long for?
what could be worse?

i cannot guarantee
or promise a rhyme

much longer than this
there is no more time

for my mind is now absorbed
in utter adoration of itself

that there is no more room
for anything else

rhythm and rhyme
now fall apart

there is no more room
for anything else

anything of value
just simply melts away

as putrid disarray
fucks with backward rhymes

get into my mind
if you have a desire to see

what dissonance
and disarray means

get out of your happiness
and join the discontent

for we are here
in the lament

no one wants
to mourn alone

none wants
to die

alone

to be free of fear

what is this? this pane of glass
this sense of clarity
what is this? this sudden knowing
this mirror of me

seeing and not
clarity and not
clear to see through, but yet
what is on the other side?

you gave me a view
of something i did not know
that was shared
with any other than me

you hurt as i do?
you know what I feel?
you have been where I stand?
oh, but no

i am fucking unique
with my intelligence
i am the end all be all
get out of my space

i am insulted
by your insolence
your crass but caring
caress

i want to know what you know
no, i don’t
i want to be rid of what you know
to be free of this

to be free of fear