Friday, September 08, 2006


i lumber along trying to be strong
or maybe i don't really care
about whatever happens
or whoever calls
or nothing at all

i act like i know all that i need
never seeking company
i don't need you
i'm all alone
on purpose

my eyes follow the child
with sad gazes and regret
i marvel at the insipidness
like i did better

i fool myself with alacrity
portending anxious readiness
exuding self-esteem
but burning inside
in fear

unable to release failures claws
suffocating in bitter stew
forcing my dreams and desires
on an unaccepting few

they wriggle and writhe under duress
of my weight and pressing
undressing their freedom
baring their flesh and soul

carressing in parental tenderness
yet lambasting guilt and stress
obsessive compulsive
passive aggressive

i pass along this generational ill
aware but incapable of recovery
praying for the miracle
fresh child birth
defect free

i see the maternal gaze burdening my soul
weighing on me like death
pressing for her perfection
or pretense of such

i secretly long to escape in the breeze
never to face or to bereave
knowing it won't be
ever to be free
a son's love

i fight the genetic brood that tempts my soul
i deny that it courses my veins
but i spew the vile poison
the liquor of malfeasance
in posterity

suffer in silence longing for peace
free my children from this dearth
quell the lineage curse for eternity
overcome the obscenity
free my progeny


No comments: